PIANO INTRO
'Way back in the nineteen hundred and ten,
The monkey and the baboon, they came walkin' in
The monkey told the baboon, "Let's shoot a game of pool."
The monkey could shoot, but the baboon wasn't no fool
Next thing came along was a little mule, he say,
"You know, I'm so mad, I even can't wear no shoe."
Next thing came along, there was Mr. Cat,
"We ain't gon' have no such a stuff goin' on here like that."
Next thing came, was a little mouse,
"Let's all get drunk and break up the doggone house!"
REFRAIN: Can't you read? Now, can't you read?
If you keep on readin', I'm bound to put you out
Well, the monkey and the elephant, they went out for a little drive.
The elephant hit the monkey right square in his eye.
The monkey looked up with a tear and a sigh,
Said, "Look-a-here, big boy, you oughta get someone your size.
One of these days, I'm gonna climb me a tree.
Remember, big boy, you got to march right under me.
When you march under me, you better march careful and fast.
I'll get me a limb and break it 'cross your . . . ."
REFRAIN: Now can't you read? Now, can't you read?
If you keep on readin', I'm bound to put you out
If anybody just happen to ast you where the wedding gonna be
Tell 'em, right down there on Hasting Street
Go down there just about the end of the week
You can get 'most anything that you care to eat
If you don't like s'rimp, just name your dish
The will even serve you some of that old 'filte fish
REFRAIN: Now can't you read? Now, can't you read?
If you keep on readin', mama, I'm bound to put you out
GUITAR/PIANO SOLO (Spoken before solo: Yeah, play it Mr. Maceo!)
Well, fifteen cents, you know, that's their regular price
If you got two bits, they will even serve you twice
REFRAIN: Can't you read? Now, can't you read?
If you keep on readin', I'm bound to put you out